it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
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