I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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