We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
