It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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