This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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