Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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