Rock
Scissors
Fuck
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
