Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
