I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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