3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
