I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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