But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
why didn't you poke me back
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
