we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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