Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I think I am morally bankrupt
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
