Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
