only you would photoshop your dick
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize