You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
