Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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