Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Holy sore nipples Batman
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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