you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
you never un-have a 4some
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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