You work out of a Hotel?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
