Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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