I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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