chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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