There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I lost the right to judge tonight
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
