I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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