honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
