He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
