We should be called the Road Head Warriors
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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