did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Randomize
