8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
