I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
