Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
