is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Randomize
