god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
