Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
We left the knife in your bed.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
