Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I just forgot I was standing up.
I am available for nakedness
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
