I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
