i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
