Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
This is classic penis vs brain.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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