dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He? As in you personified your dick?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
