I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
