So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
