So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
