The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
