Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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