Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
