if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
