I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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