Someone shit on the floor
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
