hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
