everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
