be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
